Eating Glue Makes Your Kids Smarter

eating glue makes you smart

For decades, the children who ate glue and paste in kindergarten were considered unintelligent outcasts. However, new studies are showing that the smartest adults spent their formative years eating glue.

This study followed the students of hundreds of kindergarten classes over the course of their lives. The major find was that economic, social, geographic, or any other differences didn’t affect the intelligence of the students.

The only variable that seemed to consistently indicate higher intelligence is whether or not the child ate glue.

This added intelligence followed these children throughout their lives. They achieved higher grades, went to better colleges, and obtained more complex degrees. These children all grew up to be more successful men and women than their counter parts who did not teat glue.

The biological reason for this increased intelligence is still a mystery, but Dr. Elmer G. Rilla of the 3M Institute of Science offers the following explanation:

The best we can explain it right now is that there is something in the glue that affects the neurological connections in the children’s brains. When they are young, these connections are attaching and re-attaching as they learn more about the world around them.

As a child grows, some of these connections are lost, lowering the possibility for intelligence. 

The glue makes these neurological connections sticky. These children eating glue lose a lot less of these connections. 

These sticky neurons allow children to learn more easily, thus the smarter adults.

While the report does not explicitly state that parents should encourage their children to eat glue, it does state that parents should think twice before discouraging the behavior.

Apparently, some parents heard the message loud and clear. Sales of glue have increased since this report was made available to the public.

To help encourage others to take the right steps in growing smarter children, share this article on Facebook and Twitter. To stay informed with all nutritional and biological news, sign up for the Ersatz Journal of Science Newsletter.

About the Author

Greg Johle
Greg Johle
Greg is a professional writer with years of experience. He has a passion for science and science-related things. Things like, that are really sciencey. .. SCIENCE!

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