There has been a shocking new development regarding the catastrophic asteroid predicted to impact the Earth this September. Semi-professional astronomer Lawrence Dibbles has reported to the press that the asteroid is not actually an asteroid, but is really an invading force of robots.
The asteroid was first predicted to strike this September by Reverend Efrain Rodriquez. There are many news sources that claim that this impact would happen on September 24th 2015, signaling the beginning of the end of the world.
However, Dibbles has stated that he has concrete evidence that the asteroid will not impact the Earth, causing catastrophic events that will end much of the life on the planet. Instead, Dibbles claims that the asteroid is really a fleet of robots that will either enslave all humans or destroy all life as they harvest raw materials needed to create more robots.
“NASA’s asteroid impact scenario was a cover up meant to distract the masses from the true nature of Jade Helm,” Dibble explained to the press. “They are really preparing to fight the invading robots on American soil.”
“NASA won’t tell America the truth,” Dibbles further explained. “They have been learning from watching them. That’s how we got smartphones.”
The concrete evidence is kept in a highly secure location only known to Dibbles. He insists that the secrecy is necessary for his own personal safety. “Every semi-pro astronomer knows that if they ever find out the location of your secret stash, then you become expendable.”
Dibbles is developing a combination disguise and cranial insulation that will help him to blend in with the robots as well as protect him from their mind-controlling energy beams during the imminent demise of mankind.
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