Scientists at MIT have developed a humanoid robot designed to train accountants in human interaction. This terrifying construct is meant to ease accountants into the intricacies of human speech and expression. The goal is to bring these awkward people to begin to think about human interaction beyond mathematical terms.
The machine is made of a complex system of motors and latex to closely mimic the facial expressions of humans. There is also a complex algorithm used to mimic conversational interaction.
The initial trials seem to be making a positive impact in the accountants within the test group. The spokesman for the MIT research project told reporters, “after a few short, 4 hour sessions with our robot, accountants can almost pass for people instead of the lifeless shells of humanity that they are.”
The accounting community is hopeful that this monstrosity will improve their social standing. A spokesman for the community, James Sharpsburg, CPA, released a compelling public statement regarding the training.
I’ve never been so excited to finally be able to hold a conversation with someone that doesn’t end with them falling asleep. Maybe we’ll finally be invited to social gatherings and office parties because we’re liked, and not because management is obligated to. Who knows, maybe we can even find love…
MIT expects a finished prototype for mass production within the next few years. No speculation yet regarding the probability of these technological ghouls overthrowing humanity and devouring us with their horrible, gaping maws.
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